Translating Business Lingo. . . PDF Print E-mail
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
 
Translating Employee's Lingo . . . PDF Print E-mail
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION"
I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE"
I pilfer office supplies.
 
The English Language PDF Print E-mail
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
 
Everybody, Somebody, Nobody & Anybody PDF Print E-mail

Once upon a time, there were four people; Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.

Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

 
Great Wisdom PDF Print E-mail
  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
 
Laws For Women to Live By PDF Print E-mail
  1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

  2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

  3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
 
Other Shoe PDF Print E-mail
There is this guy who returns home very late at night, after getting drunk thoroughly. He lives on the first floor of a house. Every night he comes home, throws his heavy work boots into a corner [THUD- THUD ;-)] and crashes into the bed.
 
Prison vs. Work PDF Print E-mail

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell;

AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

 
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