A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
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A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
So he goes to a Priest and asks for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the Priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."
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A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
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During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one - "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" she asked.
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Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
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A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
He runs away, finds a house and breaks into it looking for money and guns but, instead, finds a young couple in bed.
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An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Naples went to the local church for confession.
When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father ... during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic."
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A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
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